Everyone in our W1 office has some form of bug, flu or plague at the moment and inevitably my time has now come to share in this unwelcome game of tag.
As it’s Easter, my parents have taken pity on me and insisted I visit them regardless of the projectile mucus and ‘Regan’-esque Exorcist vocals I had going on.
Which is super sweet of them. If I had a child coming to stay who was currently sporting the flu I would without hesitation make said offspring strip off in the driveway before getting the gardener to hose them down with antibacterial soap from head to toe and tossing them a clean set of clothes.
But, that’s just me.
You know how I feel about germs.
It’s a bizarre and womb-like experience to be back in the countryside. On crossing the threshold I was instantly swaddled in blankets, brandished with balsam-lined tissues and plied with piping hot tea. Due to constantly being on the go with a never ending to do list, willingly surrendering to my bed and doing nothing feels strange.
Case in point? I travelled here with three freshly purchased books I was hoping to at least be able to glance at – and today (day one of said four day Easter break) one whole novel was devoured from cover to cover by yours truly.
As an adult I never have the time to do that any more.
I sat in flu-addled and slightly delirious shock wondering why completing this simple action felt like such a huge life achievement.
However – I would take it.
It’s clear to me that this flu is part of one big ongoing distress signal from my body. A signal that I seriously need to get my shit together.
You see (as I’m currently not at my best) I decided the best thing to do was channel my inner Gwyneth Paltrow and eat macrobiotic everything / start working out… but after I just did one weight session (taking it slowly and carefully mind you) I ended up in the hospital due to waking up at midnight with severe abdominal pain that made me pass out. Not ideal. However, the upshot is that I have a perfectly legitimate excuse not to exercise.
Nurses orders? I had to take it easy.
And then I contracted the plague and literally had no other choice.
Message received, universe…
As a cruel cosmic joke I am unable to take any cold and flu medication as the hospital gave me some morphine pills that prohibit extra ingestion of paracetamol – and paracetamol is in just about everything I can get over the counter. So it’s mainly bed rest, bubble baths and fluids for now.