I think the worst thing about getting a cold is that plummeting gut-feeling on discovering the carrier monkey in your life (lets call him Brian for the sake of argument) is oozing at the seams with bacteria. It's an eye-rolling sense of "Oh great" that (upon reflection) is entirely justified. Some people are capable of … Continue reading Cold Rush
Okay. I am usually a very calm individual. You know, on the outside. However certain things make me incandescent with rage. And one of these things includes a person blatantly copying me. The way I see it, this is not the greatest sign of flattery. It's a lack of originality. The list of things that … Continue reading Like, why are you so obsessed with me?
Anyone who knows me knows that I am scared of hamsters. Which is slightly weird considering I adopted four of them. I didn't have a phobia before I started adopting hamsters. This is a fear that has developed and intensified with every hamster I brought home. My first ‘hamster-parenting’ experience was when I first moved to London and … Continue reading Storytime: Misadventures in Hamster parenting. A cautionary tale.
I discovered the following on the tube this morning. An empty bottle of wine abandoned on the opposite seat. On a Thursday. At 07:30... And it made me reconsider both my commuting route and my life choices. Because - damn... I'm clearly not adulting correctly
Here is a little overly-dramatic cartoon for you to depict the abject misery I am currently wallowing in. I read that some menstrual cramps can be as painful as early labor pains. Which makes so much sense.
I have noticed that as the years have gone by I have developed a complicated relationship with coffee. This never used to be the case. I could chug it like water and it would have no effect on me. Even before bed. And when I say no effect I mean - nothing. No energy boost, … Continue reading Stomach demons, Coffee edition
It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter … Continue reading So this is thirty … (two)
I don't know about any of you who may or may not have a blog of your own, but vast quantities of The Mottled Macaroon is in draft form and posted in retrospect. Generally my life is a fabulous mess swirling round on itself like microwave porridge. And despite this admittedly being a bottomless pit … Continue reading Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging
Mr Maybe and I carved pumpkins last night. I have to admit I had been looking forward to this for quite a while. Mostly because reaching for a kitchen knife after a long, hard day in the office and proceeding to yank out a pumpkins innards - only to then additionally carve a smiling face into … Continue reading Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving
I saw this thing on Instagram that said ‘describe yourself in three fictional characters.’ People had taken screenshots of the three fictional characters that best described them as a person and reposted them in response. These are mine. One is (obviously) Bridget Jones. Unlike Bridget, I don’t smoke - and certainly won’t drink excessively unless … Continue reading Three fictional Characters tag
Today I am epitomising Hurkle-Durkle. A Scottish word meaning ‘lounging around in bed when you should be up and about doing other things.’ We Brits are bereft of a Hurkle-Durkle of our very own. You’d think a man like Shakespeare would have rustled up a word to do the job but he was clearly too … Continue reading The art of the HURKLE DURKLE
I took this picture in 2012 and it remains one of the best I have ever taken. I was going through a horrible breakup when my parents (in their infinite wisdom) whisked me away on a much needed holiday to Canada. We were in Kelowna when I took this picture. I'm not one for waxing lyrical … Continue reading The best picture I have probably ever taken
I'm really proud of Taylor Swift for speaking out about the unwanted physical attention she received from a certain radio DJ - and in turn (quite rightly) winning her court case. The DJ was found to have lifted the back of Swifts skirt and grab her bum while posing for a photo with the star … Continue reading Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift
It's raining. In fact, its been raining all day. Actually I would go so far as to say that it's been raining in a way that is almost exclusive to London (a fine mist that comes from all directions). This is rain that you can't seem to escape. Rain that almost becomes an oppressive smog. … Continue reading Another beautiful day in london…
I have been feeling quite pensive lately for a variety of reasons. Like everyone else, I'm trying to handle life and its layers of complexities, wonders and stresses in the best way I can - and yet despite my best efforts this is how competent I feel at times : They say that some days … Continue reading Make your own luck
I have been putting this off for a while because I am neither a fan of sharp, pointy things or people poking me with them I have an irrational fear that I will contract hepatitis (or worse) from a dirty needle I tend to faint around needles in general The first time I ever saw … Continue reading Storytime: Getting my ears re-pierced
As adults we all inevitably feel overwhelmed now and again. We have bills to pay, forms to fill, a home to clean, chores to do, people to see, places to go, reunions and family events attend and a sense of obligation that makes saying “no” hard. … With this in mind, a title like ‘The … Continue reading Book review: The life changing magic of not giving a fuck
Like every other person out there, I was looking forward to starting the new year by etch-a-sketching the amount I ate and drank over the holiday period and beginning the self-congratulatory road to both enlightenment and rock hard abs. Sadly, since the beginning of the new year there has been building work going on at … Continue reading Remain calm
I think we can all agree that 2016 was a terrible, TERRIBLE year that can't end soon enough. However, Christmas has arrived in the blink of an eye and this year I was entirely unprepared for it. It just sort of turned up like an uninvited house guest demanding special treatment and attention. I am feeling incredibly … Continue reading Christmas 2016
I've just entered my early thirties - and as a personal improvement project, I'm trying to stop worrying so much and to let things go more. The first reason I find this so hard is that (as a PA) my working life is all about the smooth running of someone else's. Worrying is part of my day. In fact, I … Continue reading Letting go